If there was a way to take a world-wide poll, I wonder how many people would admit to periods of procrastination? My guess is that the percentages of those who would check “sometimes” would be fairly high. For another large percentage, the selection might even be “daily.”
Let’s go a step further by asking how many of these individuals know why they procrastinate? Maybe most would guess that it has to do with avoidance…but of what? Is it a task that is unpleasant? One that has an unsure outcome? Maybe a lack of energy?
Like most of our ways of coping with life – even the negative ones - procrastination might be a gift, or at least a tool.
Procrastination is one of those things that point an arrow toward the possibility of resistance. And resistance can be seen in a positive light if we have the wisdom and courage to press pause on all the excuses, denial, wrestling it to the ground or guilt feelings that generally accompany it, then taking some time to reflect.
This concept is something I’ve been mulling over since the idea was introduced to me through the book Spiritual Direction by Sue Pickering.1 She speaks of the fact that for us to resist, there must be something there to resist. We don’t resist “nothing,” or a vacuum. Something (or Someone) is drawing us, forward or backward, and we can gain a ton of insight just by stopping to consider what that something or someone is, and then why we are resisting.
The next crucial step is what we decide to do with what we find. Often, I catch a glimpse of something I don’t feel I have the energy to deal with emotionally or physically, and I make the choice to either not do it and then feel guilty that I didn’t, or I power through resentfully until I’m finished with it and on to the next thing.
What might happen if I recognized resistance, for example as it is expressed through procrastination, and interviewed it? It might go something like this: “Good morning, Procrastination. I see you’ve shown up here while I’m thinking about making a call to _______. Why are you here?”
Resistance (cleverly disguised as Procrastination) may tell me that she doesn’t feel I have the resources to hear all that is happening in ____’s life and respond in an appropriate way when I feel so depleted emotionally. Helpful…because I didn’t even realize I was feeling depleted.
At this point, I can agree with Procrastination and say, “You’re right. I guess I am pretty empty right now. Why is that? Let me take this to God and ask him to show me what’s going on in my heart these days. What follows may be a conversation that sounds a whole lot like it was written by one of the Psalmists.
In this case, my resistance can nudge me toward God, which is always a good idea, even if what I have to say to him doesn’t sound very pious. This is what is called “consolation.”
Or, resistance may get a different reaction from me. I may agree that I am emotionally depleted, and turn to a couple of cookies, a vodka martini, scrolling social media or vegging in front of the television. I may even think of blaming myself or someone for my troubles. In this case, I’ve encountered “desolation.” NOTE: Even if I feel “better” after I engage one of these behaviors, I am no closer to God and therefore, no closer to intimacy with him and the help that I need.
My point? Even behaviors that we don’t appreciate very much in ourselves, such as procrastination, can be helpful companions on our spiritual journey. We just need to first, be self-aware, and second, have some practices built into our lives that help us slow down long enough to listen and learn.
Spiritual direction is one of those practices. I can’t number the times that I have been in a session with my director, going over some feelings that I can’t quite identify. She asks questions that often I have to stop and spend time in silence before God with, while she waits and silently prays. She helps hold the space for me to hear from God.
Spiritual direction is similar in ways to the work of midwifery. During the birthing process, the midwife uses her training to be a companion to the mother as the holy work of birth takes place. She doesn’t make the birth happen and she has no control over what the infant will be like. She is a patient witness to the miracle.
I encourage you to consider what practices you might add to your life that can help you explore the everyday graces that show up at your doorstep – even those that seem unpleasant. If you are wondering if spiritual direction might be helpful, please contact me by clicking on the Let’s Talk button at the top my homepage. Or email me at debbie@gracefordays.com. You will also find helpful resources through the Evangelical Spiritual Directors Association. https://www.graftedlife.org/spiritual-direction/esda
1 Pickering, Sue, (2008). Spiritual Direction. London, England: Canterbury Press.