With the resurrection behind us, I’ve been finding myself in the book of Acts, pondering the early days after Jesus ushered in the Kingdom of God. The landscape of the world had not changed, but there was a new, dynamic power present on this earth. Jesus taught his followers what the principles of this kingdom looked like, and now the Holy Spirit was available through the believers to live it out. The sin debt was paid, and the sinful nature was crucified. And so began the reality of the new creation in Christ, for those who believe! Staggering!
One of the newer tools in my contemplation of scripture and its application to my life is a growing understanding of what this “new creation” looks like in real-time for me - as opposed to what it looks like for me to live from my flesh - through the lens of the Enneagram.
Utilizing my awareness of my healthy versus unhealthy patterns through the Enneagram in addition to my time in the Word of God and in silent, prayerful reflection has been yielding some insight that is sifting, sanding and refining my heart. Honestly, this refining process is painful at times! Here’s an example from what I’ve been seeing in Acts 5 through 8.
The Pharisees were likely motivated by a desire for righteousness and justice gone awry. God’s chosen people were to reflect his righteousness – that’s true. But without the governing power of the Holy Spirit, the anger these men felt over what they perceived as a violation of this righteousness led them to pride, self-righteousness, and destruction. I’m going to make an amateur call here and say these guys were probably Enneagram Ones like I am. Those of us in this “gut” triad are quick to sense when rules aren’t being followed and things are not as they should be. The problem is, we can’t trust our own wisdom and we can do a lot of damage by not examining our core motivation and knowing what our own brand of “flesh” looks like when we go off track.
For me, I am learning to notice that when I sense this need for the security of everything being “right” in my world and the world around me, I might tend to get frustrated and move toward gaining control of the situation; or judging those who aren’t handling things the way I think they should. However, if I notice some inward warning signals, such as a racing heartbeat, my urge to take control, or even just the presence of the feeling of frustration itself. If I stop, get quiet, and ask God to show me what’s going on internally, I realize that I am being tempted to operate in my flesh instead of the Spirit. I ask him to show me what it would look like to let him inform my thoughts and actions. I make the conscious choice to live out those actions, regardless of my strong emotions. I then place my trust in Him to work things out the way they should be. I regain contact with the peace, joy, and wisdom that belong to me as one of his daughters.
Let’s consider Gamaliel, another Pharisee - one who was a well known and respected teacher during this time. Acts 5 records his wise and measured response to those who would have killed the apostles for preaching the gospel. No doubt, this man was also an Enneagram One, but one who had spent enough time in the scriptures and in seeking wisdom that he learned to govern his emotions. His intervention prevented these men’s death – at least this time.
One of the hallmarks of the Enneagram is its assistance in helping us recognize how God has hard-wired us, what it looks like when we are “triggered” in our own unique way (flesh), and how to move toward the healthiest and most fruitful version of ourselves. God does the transforming, the Enneagram is just one tool for that process.
Now, just a few words about anger (read frustration, irritability, aggravation):
Anger disguised as “righteous” anger destroys, deflects, and seems to deaden pain temporarily. Its true purpose when used by our enemy is death.
Truly righteous anger illuminates, repairs, heals and refines. Its purpose is life.
Anger is rarely pure or recognized for what it is. We use words like “frustration, irritation, aggravation, annoyed.” In doing so, we focus on the person or situation that has offended in a general sense. “She made me mad,” or “This is so unfair!” If I can recognize and admit that I am angry, and seek understanding of what is underneath my anger, I am more equipped to approach a solution from a better perspective.
Anger is often an emotion we experience as a response to a perceived threat – not a real-life or death situation. Often there really isn’t a threat at all. In this case, anger is a powerful stand-in for anxiety, vulnerability, sadness, pain, etc. We feel a whole lot stronger when anger is fueling us than when we admit that what we are truly feeling is sad, weak, or hurt.
Peter is a great example of what a strong personality looks like when governed by the Holy Spirit. Once prompted to yield his sword and cut off an ear, we now see him fearlessly proclaiming the good news of Christ, with only God’s Word as his weapon!
Here are some ways to give your anger or its milder forms time to be informed before you act:
1. Step back from the situation and take time to breathe.
2. Know the character of God by studying how Jesus lived and by asking the Holy Spirit to teach you.
3. Know yourself: what are your wounds, weaknesses, and true character?
4. Ask, “What is really triggering this anger?”
5. Is it a legit threat? If so, how do I deal with it constructively?
6. Is it misinformed anger? Is it serving to protect me from emotions like pain, anxiety, vulnerability, or sadness?
7. Ask God what he wants from you and wait to hear his response.
And don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you’d like to go deeper.