We are now in the first period of the year that the ancient Christians called “ordinary time.” The time “between.” Between Christ’s birth and the time leading up to his death and resurrection. It marks the years of Jesus’ presence with us on earth as the Messiah. It is during this time that we listen to and watch Jesus usher in the Kingdom of God, leaving us treasured passages of scripture that instruct and equip us for living in this kingdom.
I can’t say how many times in my life I’ve heard or read or studied Matthew’s inspired retelling of some of those words and actions, particularly Jesus’ most famous teaching – the “sermon on the Mount” and more specifically, the “Beatitudes.” I will not attempt to share anything here that provides profound or new teaching about this passage. I’m not smart enough to do that!
Rather, I’ll just say that every time I approach scripture by first quieting myself and asking for the grace to hear with fresh ears, I come away with either more light for my path or a deepening sense of mystery that draws me deeper in. This is the approach I took with this passage, and here is a bit of what I discovered.
If I am considered by Jesus to be very fortunate (blessed) to find myself in a state of brokenness, as “poor in spirit” seems to indicate, how am I to unwrap this unlikely gift?
Upon reflection, I think it has something to do with my posture. Looking back, I recognize various approaches I have taken to manage my brokenness and its symptoms. Symptoms, because I didn’t recognize what I was experiencing as brokenness or poverty of spirit for most of my life. I only felt its symptoms.
I think the most basic underlying dis-ease within me was shame. Isn’t it amazing how a child so easily interprets any hint of not being perfectly loved, accepted, or safe as an obvious defect in his or her being? And of course, we aren’t even aware of this subtle invasion of shame. But it begins its deadly work immediately and early.
I recognize first a posture of the sleep of unawareness. Then came the flurried posture of performance. Next came the rigid posture of pride and the finger-pointing of blame. And oh yes, my most comfortable position – hiding in isolation.
Mercifully somewhere along the way my Beloved in his relentless, patient love gently called me out of hiding, quieted my fevered performance, took my tight-fisted hand and helped me slowly open it up in surrender and acknowledgment of my true poverty and inability to heal my own wounds.
If you have ever been truly bone tired and covered in sweat and grime, you know the exquisite pleasure of taking a shower. When we empty our hands of all pretense and unsatisfying trinkets and toys, we will feel the matchless touch of our Lover’s hand. This is the blessedness of brokenness: the awareness of our condition of soul-poverty. What could we possibly hold on to, what posture could we assume, that would match the graces of his pure and unfailing love cascading over us like a warm shower on our naked and exposed skin?
May I gently say, you are broken, my friend. If you are a child of Adam and you still walk on this earth, you are broken. So, what is your current posture?
I invite you into silent reflection, and then into the fellowship of the open hand. You won’t be sorry. In fact, you will find yourself to be most fortunate.
If you’d like a companion for your journey into the mystery of knowing and being known by God, I’d love to talk with you.