A heart beating at 196 beats per minute for 30 minutes is quite unsettling. Especially when you’re not running or on a treadmill and there was no gradual increase. It took an IV of medication that stopped my heart for a split second and then restarted it to get it back into rhythm.
This has happened multiple times in my adult life, as I have a condition that involves a random “misfiring” of the electrical impulses in my heart. The most recent experience happened during the time period that I was practicing the Spiritual Exercises and was reflecting on Jesus’ disciple, Peter, right after the resurrection. When something happens in our everyday life, often the Holy Spirit will use those occurrences to connect us with a spiritual significance, if we are paying attention. This is what I learned from that connection.
What happened to Peter that changed him from the brash, bold man who boastfully declared he would never deny Christ, to the fearful denying Peter, and then to the spiritual giant that he later became? How did his heart “reset” to his final role as a pillar of the early church and then later, a martyr?
This is something that I have spent some time thinking about. And let me just say, you might not be interested in all that has gone through my mind about the subject. But there are a few key factors that I think you might want to ponder.
After the resurrection, Peter was the first to run into the tomb. I believe he longed for a chance to apologize, or for a “second chance” with his dear friend and master. At any rate, Peter needed healing. If he was to ever become the leader Jesus had predicted, he would need to be set free from the sickening voice of condemnation, guilt, and shame. Jesus knew this and no doubt part of Peter’s healing came in the form of Jesus’ probing questions on the beach breakfast a few days later: “Peter, do you love me?” Not just asked once, but three times. Maybe in direct correlation to the three denials Peter had muttered earlier?
The next time we glimpse Peter, he was preaching boldly the good news of what Christ had accomplished through His death, burial, and resurrection. When we read his letters in I and II Peter, we get hints at the reality that Peter’s heart was now beating in rhythm with Jesus’ own heart!
As I thought about how strange it felt to have my heart stop and restart, I think I got a clearer understanding of the intentional “resetting” of my mind/heart every day to stay in beat with the heart of Christ. It is not often a comfortable feeling, and unlike the symptoms of my physical dysrhythmia, I can be “out of beat” with the heart of God and not even notice.
I take a medication that helps keep my physical heart in rhythm. But there is no such medication in the spiritual realm. However, Peter does have some things to teach us about what might help us in sync with the Savior:
Fasten our faith in God alone (I Peter 1:20-21)
This requires us to really know who God is, but we all have developed some distortions of God through our life experiences. It is vital that we really understand what trips us up here, in order to “fasten our faith” to the “right” God.
Realize where our identity rests
Early on in Peter’s walk with Jesus, he received a new name. Jesus told Peter that he would be a “rock,” and not just any old pebble on the shore. He would play a crucial role in the foundation of the church. (Mt. 16:17-18). In Peter’s letters, he tells us to “keep coming to him who is the Living Stone,” and to become his “living stones” as part of our new and holy community. Peter grew into his true identity in time, and this is part of what kept him on track with God’s plan and purpose.
Surrendering our own desires for something better in exchange.
How do we know what our true desires are and how they differ, even slightly, from what is a life-giving heartbeat? How can we find the courage to let go of what seems so crucial to our survival? (See I Peter 2:11.)
Peter tells us in his letters that our ultimate healing was instant. Christ has already set our heart in rhythm with his when we accepted his finished work on the cross. But we need some help with walking that out and staying in daily step with His Spirit. I am so grateful for the practices that I am learning and incorporating into my life that help me with this! And truly one of the keys for me has been becoming intentionally aware throughout the day of symptoms that show me I am moving out of beat with Jesus.
If this kind of understanding sounds interesting to you, maybe you can start today by contacting me and we can have a conversation about your “next” question!