I’ve had shadows on my mind lately. It started in art class, where we have been learning how to make an object take on life and dimension on a flat surface by using tone.
The subject of this painting was a white bowl against a black background. All three of us in this class are beginners. I mean, stick figure beginners. If any of us had been asked to paint a picture of this white bowl, we would likely have been able to paint the shape of the bowl with bright white paint, and it may have been recognizable as a bowl. But the depth and personality of the bowl would have been missing because you would not be able to see any effect the light had on it.
Light changes things in a major way – more than we even realize. But in our human form, we need shadow in order to appreciate dimension.
As I pondered light and shadow this week, along with my reflection on the cross, I have been looking at scripture about these topics, and just simply stopping and noticing shadows when they stand out to me. And I have come to appreciate the presence and purpose of shadows in my life.
Feeling a bit low makes me appreciate a day of feeling uplifted more than if I had always lived in the sun. Failing at making bread from scratch makes me appreciate a golden brown loaf of heady sustenance coming from the oven even more than the best loaf I could buy from the market. Conflict in a relationship makes reconciliation more precious. Hot and sweaty toil makes me appreciate a shower in a way that sitting inside at a comfortable desk could never do.
I was thinking about the poor old Pharisees and their misunderstanding of Jesus and his teaching. You see, they thought the Law was their way to redemption. It did serve a purpose for many years, but it was only to be a moon to the sun that was standing in front of them. It was really only a shadow. They had become so attached to this shadow that they were blinded by the Light. They couldn’t imagine that this roughly-clad carpenter could possibly be their promised Messiah. They misunderstood his words of life and his miracles as the card tricks of a shyster.
The darkness of the shadow can be dangerous if I choose to live there. I can get stuck in looking at the shadows of my life as the reality. I can get so tired of failing that I either hate myself or blame someone else for my problems. I can cling to performance and wear myself out instead of surrendering to the Load-Lightener because it gives me some silly sense of control.
The Pharisees clung to the shadow. It was all they knew. But when I embrace the cross, the Truth, the Light, I cling to the Real. Yes, there will be shadows, but the shadows add dimension to our lives. I can’t have the light without having a shadow. I want to learn to live with appreciation for both.
Too much light can blind us, as it did the Pharisees who were part of God’s chosen people. As we walk through times of shadow, let’s acknowledge that it’s uncomfortable. No sense in pretending that everything is okay. But let’s also look for beauty there. We have the Source of Light as our companion if we only notice.
Here are some questions to ponder:
Where are the present shadows in my life? Can I look them full on in acknowledgment of the pain or frustration they bring?
How much time do I spend there? Is it adequate to acknowledge the pain but not so much that I get stuck there?
Can I locate the Light Source? Where is he? What is he saying?
If this is a period of walking in Light for you, what insight have you gained from your most recent “shadow moments”?
If you are in the shadows and feel stuck, what has helped to lift you out in a healthy way in the past? Can you stop and just give thanks for the hope that comes from knowing that this shadow time is not permanent?
If you are stuck in the shadows and you’d like to work through that with someone safe, I’m here to offer myself as a companion, not an expert. Find someone who can walk with you in the shadows, explore the shadows of your past that linger, and help you find a new way of experiencing the Light. You might be surprised at how different the shadows look when you find the gifts they have to bring.