I am so very grateful for the gift of having been taught the beautiful practice of reflective, listening prayer through scripture, called Lectio Divina. While reading Acts 11: 15-18 utilizing this practice, the phrase that “glittered” for me was “repentance that leads to life.”
In times past, I thought of repentance as something one did when she realized she had done something bad. It always seemed to come with a companion of guilt or shame. We hardly ever hear this word in sermons and teachings today, and I can understand why – it seems very off-putting. I also associated it with the salvation experience. And, truly, repentance is a part of the process of turning away from the old, ineffective ways of life that lead to death, as the new creation emerges.
But repentance is crucial to walking moment by moment in freedom from the ineffective ways we attempt to live a joyful and fruitful life.
Repentance is really a change of mindset before it can become a change of feelings or behavior.
Human beings are born with an innate need for love, acceptance, worth, and security. When we experience a perceived or real lack in any of these needs, we are like an ant that runs into a pebble; we reroute. This re-routing is unconscious most of the time since we developed these “programs for happiness” as Thomas Keating calls them very early in life. So, when I feel lonely or rejected, I may turn automatically for something that makes me feel better. Depending on my preferences, I might scroll through social media, eat a chocolate bar, or go shopping. Is eating a chocolate bar a “sin”? Not in the sense that most of us view sin. Is it as profitable for me as taking a moment to whisper to God my sense of loneliness and pain, and then listening to his reply? Probably not. The latter choice is what it means to engage “repentance that leads to life.”
I’ll admit, it’s much easier and seems more immediately gratifying to choose the chocolate bar. But what if I spend days without stopping to reflect on what I’m really feeling, what I’m truly needing, and reflecting on ways that I’ve tried in vain to get those needs met? I can only speak from experience here. I know that at one time I would often go weeks without really sensing a need for “repentance” unless there was something glaringly obvious going on in my heart, such as resentment or speaking in angry words to someone. When I decided to try to enter a time of confession, I was stumped unless something pretty obvious stood out to me.
On the other hand, with my temperament, I am prone to walking around with a sense of not measuring up to the impossibly high standards I set for myself. In this case, repentance resets my soul to my true North – the complete righteousness I have in Christ and my position as a beloved daughter of God, just as I am.
But…here I was being drawn to the phrase, “repentance that leads to life.” What would it be like to live each day continually recognizing my needs and looking to God to meet those needs his way? It sounds quite impossible, really. Life “comes at you fast,” as the commercial says. We don’t seem to have time to realize what happened until after the fact, if at all.
Yet, Peter tells us that God “has given us everything needed for life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” Living this kind of life is possible. And not just for men living in the days of the New Testament.
So, how does one get closer to living a life of repentance?
We must first recognize and name the old and subtle operating system we live by. We do this by examining our life’s narratives. What story outline am I living by? Where did it come from? This is not always easy to do, and most often we need to do this in safe, loving community with others. Some of the clues to these narratives are our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When I take a close, honest look at these, I can detect the belief system that is running my life.
We notice the ways these messages have misled us and are still operating today.
We fix our gaze, we fall in intimate love with Jesus who shows us the Father, and we allow him to shower us with the only kind of love that will meet all of our needs – right now, even this side of heaven. This is the true Gospel!
We incorporate intentional practices that help us become more in tune with the Holy Spirit:
Listening: through prayer practices such as centering prayer, welcoming prayer, lament, etc. ; Lectio Divina; Examen; Community; Celebration and worship; Service; Solitude; Silence; Fasting; Creativity; Spiritual Direction; and others.
Different seasons of life call for different practices. Thankfully, we have more than one “tool” in our toolbox for spiritual formation into the likeness of Christ! If you’d like to know more, I’d love to talk with you about it.
Maybe you could add to this list with some practices that help you toward a lifestyle of repentance. Please offer those suggestions in the comment section so that we can all benefit from what you have learned.
Meanwhile, here is a link to the Examen practice in case you are interested in trying something new. Perhaps it will be as helpful to you as it has been for me.