A couple years back I ran across some information explaining that the original Christmas tree came from the setting of Medieval morality plays and represented the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden. This intrigued me, and I decided to draw a simple tree, noting the fruit of the tree that is uniquely mine. I tried to be very honest about the things that I turn to when I am not aware of the deeper need that only God and community can meet.
This led me to consider the role of community in my life. I love turning to God for my needs. I have a much harder time turning to community. Part of that is because it takes time and vulnerability to intentionally seek and enter into true intimacy with other people. It’s far too messy for my liking.
But where would Mary have been without community with Elizabeth? In fact, her famous song isn’t sung until after she meets with her cousin and hears the encouraging words Elizabeth has for her.
There are many other examples of community in the Christmas story. In fact, I don’t see any individuals going solo during that holy season. Mary and Joseph traveled together. There was a multitude of angels announcing to the shepherds, who came in plurality. And although we don’t know how many wise men made the journey to Bethlehem, we know there was more than one. Even Simeon and Anna came to the temple together in their famous encounter with the Babe. Who knows how many times they had met to converse about their hopes and dreams to see the Christ Child with their own eyes before they died?
Without people who know me intimately and with whom I’ve shared by own particular brand of “flesh” I am much more likely to linger grazing there before realizing that my needs for love, acceptance, worth and security cannot ever be fully satisfied eating from this tree. With safe community who know me and love me enough to kindly ask the right questions, I am made aware that there is a much better Source!
We need circles of intimacy, but it is a discipline. If we don’t have it, we tend to turn inward toward self and outward to a world that cannot satisfy a need for peace and connection.
I pray that you have a wonderful circle of friends that constitute this kind of community. If it is a bit of a struggle for you as it is for me, there are some great resources available to you through Safe Harbor and through Grace for Days. Here are a few:
1. Pathways to Freedom class will help you identify your own “tree” of the knowledge of good and evil and will provide you with tools for reflection to change your grazing to the Tree of Life through Christ!
2. Peacemaker class (Safe Harbor) will help you work through handling conflict that is inevitable in any community setting.
3. Safe People and Boundaries class (Safe Harbor) will help you identify safe community and learn to set appropriate boundaries to keep it safe.
4. Destination Joy (Grace for Days) – a one day retreat and workshop that will have a component on developing community
5. Spiritual Direction (Grace for Days) will help deepen your self-awareness as well as a keener sense of the closeness of God as you seek to walk out your life with other people in your everyday life.
No doubt over these next few days you will have plenty of opportunities to interact with family and friends – some of which may be life-giving and others perhaps a bit draining. Notice which encounters draw you closer to God and to your best self, and those that seem to bring out the worst in you. And use what you discover to spur you on to making some changes in community for the coming year.
Meanwhile, I pray that you spend some beautiful moments in the blessed community of the Trinity throughout these final days of Advent. He is with us! Glory to God in the Highest!